AE 358 – WWP – Story Time: Was This The Worst Date Ever?

In this Walking With Pete Story Time episode of Aussie English I tell you about the worst date I’ve ever been on. Was this the worst date ever?

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AE 358 – Story Time:
Was This The Worst Date Ever?

What’s going on? (I) decided to go for a walk today. It’s a pretty warm up… well, pretty warm, it’s about 16 degrees. So, it’s not too bad, but it’s not exactly a scolder. It’s not that hot. Sorry, I’m just crossing the road so it might be a bit loud.

But, Petinka and Chris and the crew, everyone else, who’ve been interested in transcribing a bunch of episodes, asked if I could make some more. So, I thought I would start with something a little bit different. I thought I would start with sort of Walking With Pete “Story Time” style episode now, where, I guess, I can talk to you guys while I’m walking and tell you a story about, I guess, my past or something interesting that I’ve experienced. Again, (it’s) just another excuse to give you new vocab and (so you can) hear me talk about different things.

So, I thought today, I would tell you about the worst date that I’d ever been on. So, the worst date I’ve ever been on. So, until recently, I had used Tinder, I had used… What’s the other one called? Happn, is another app that you can use for dating where it was a nice way of sort of meeting complete strangers who weren’t in your circle of friends from work or from the gym you go to etc.. So, that’s why I kind of like those apps.

And before that, I had on occasion given my number to women that I’d met out and about, whether I was at a cafe or I just… I don’t know, (I) saw someone somewhere and decided this person looks interesting and fun so I’ll give them my number and ask if they want to get coffee.

So, I used to live in Newport. Newport is a suburb in the southwest of Geelong. Geelong?! In the southwest of Melbourne*. And I decided one day… we were at a cafe and there was this beautiful waitress serving us, and we had a bit of a connection. She was getting my jokes and laughing at stuff I was saying, and like one of those girls who just. Is really friendly straight off the bat. So, she wasn’t very reserved, (she) didn’t ignore us, (she) was keen to sort of joke around and chat.

So, I was there with a friend, and by the end of the time that we were having coffee and probably lunch I decided I’m going to give this girl my number. I’m going to, you know, give her my number and say if you came for coffee sometime let me know and let’s go grab coffee.

So, I ended up giving this girl my number. And, you know, you get really nervous before you leave. You know what you want to do. And so, I was sort of half shaking, but (I) ended up saying, you know, here’s my number. My name’s Pete. If you want to catch up some time let me know. And so, that happened, which was good. She ended up calling me and we arranged a time to meet up, to catch up and go out and have dinner in Newport.

And I remember thinking… She said to me when we were organising the time, she said, can we make sure it’s between 7:00 and 9:00 o’clock. And I remember thinking, that’s a bit weird. Normally, you kind of have, I guess, no real upper limit. And it wasn’t that big a deal, because I had to go out to a gig in the evening anyway. I think from 10:00 o’clock I was going to a concert, a Karnivool concert. And Karnivool’s a band that I love here in Australia from Perth, from Western Australia. A really good progressive rock band. So, it didn’t bother me too much.

So, we met up. I was waiting outside and she walked up to this pizza restaurant in Newport where we were going to go have dinner. And straight away I could see I was going to follow up with the date, because she’s a… she was a smoker, and I’m not really a massive fan of cigarettes, of smoking, ’cause I… when I was younger both of my grandparents passed away from really horrible cancers as a result of smoking. And so, partially because I just am not fond of the smell of it, and also because of, you know, the events of having close relatives who I love die from cancer, I just always hated smokers and smoking. So, instantly, I was like yeah OK. We can hang out and chat but I don’t think, you know, that this is going to go anywhere. Partly also, because I don’t really want to force people to change for me, right? Like, you never really want to start a new relationship under the premise or under the sort of assumptions that someone’s going to change for you.

So, we sit down she sits down there in front of the restaurant with me, ’cause she said she was going to explain why we had to do it between 7:00 and 9:00, because I remember I was asking her I said well what’s the… what’s the deal? How come you’ve got to be gone so early? And so, we sat down and she’s like I’ve got narcolepsy. And I said narcolepsy that’s something I’ve seen in, you know, one of these Adam Sandler movies or something where it’s a disease or a… I don’t think… I think it’s a neurological disorder, right, where you fall asleep at random times because of potential external stimuli or for, you know, absolutely no reason at all.

And apparently, she was telling me that she had I think it was called cataplexy narcolepsy where it’s caused by things that she’s afraid of. So, when she gets scared of something or has something that she’s thinking about that she finds repulsive or gross, she passes out for half an hour, and falls asleep on the spot. And so, she wanted to tell me that, because she was like, I take medication during the day so that I stay awake and I come off it at night so I can obviously go to sleep. So, obviously, while she’s working she doesn’t want to pass out randomly while she’s serving customers so she takes this medication this, whatever the drug is, in order to stay awake. But then in the evenings, as she’s coming off the medication she’s more likely to fall asleep as a result of having narcolepsy.

So, we were sitting there and I was like well what is it caused by? And she told me that it was just anything she has a phobia of. And I was like, alright. And she told me not to call the ambulance. She said if this happens I have to tell you now so you don’t call the ambulance. If it happens, because I’m not sick, well, I’m not, you know, going to die or anything. I have this…, I guess, it’s a disease. But, it’s not fatal or anything. I just fall asleep and then I wake up again, and we can keep going along with our night. So I was like a bit taken aback. And I’d never met anyone with narcolepsy. So, I thought it was like a… one of those things that you know no one has that you’ve heard of once because of a movie.

So, we have dinner. We order a pizza. We sit down. She sits next to me on the right side. I think we’re on like a bench somewhere. So, we were sitting next to one another having pizza, and as it just comes out, instantly, she… I think she was asking me about what pets that I used to have. Did I like any animals? And all that sort of stuff. And so, I was like, yeah, back in the day I used to have, you know, dogs and cats and everything. So, that was, you know, the standard thing. But then, I mentioned that I also had reptiles, and that I had lizards, and that I currently own a two-metre-long black headed python. So, a black hated python, they’re are native species of snake in Australia. And that freaked her out.

I didn’t even really realise at the time. She was just saying, oh gross! That’s really disgusting. And I thought, alright, someone who doesn’t like snakes. We’ll just change the topic. And, as I was trying to change the topic she kept coming back to it, and kept saying, why do you have a snake? Oh that’s so gross. And then all of a sudden, it was really weird. It looked like she was having a bit of a stroke. I remember she was sort of lolling to one side, turned away from me, and wasn’t looking at me. And I was a bit sort of like, what is going on? Because I’d actually sort of forgotten about what she was telling me. And I asked if she was okay, and she turned around slowly looked at me and said I’m fine. And then passed out in my lap. Literally, stone-cold. Asleep. Snoring. She had drool coming out of her mouth. She was just dead to the world. Out of it. And in my lap, and I was like. OK.

So, I kind of didn’t know what to do with that situation at the time. It was interesting. I was sitting there. I’d met this girl about half an hour prior to this, and (I) was just eating dinner, and then all of a sudden, she was asleep on my lap in this restaurant.

So, I sat there for a good 10 minutes, just, you know, trying to be as natural as possible, trying not to be awkward, and was just sort of, you know, trying to comfort her, I guess. Although, she was completely unconscious, and (I) was just hoping, oh my gosh! I hope she wakes up. I hope she wakes soon. This is really awkward. And I had to… I was… (I) kept looking at the watch, because it ended up… I think we waited half an hour and she hadn’t woken up. So, I was kind of like, OK. Is she just going to stay asleep? Is there a point where I should worry and call the ambulance? Or, you know, like, ’cause even though she had said that I was like, oh… How seriously do I take that? So, in the end I sort of got impatient and I just walked up to the people working at the restaurant, ’cause by then they’d seen this and seen that she’d fallen asleep, and I said to them, I said, well she’s got narcolepsy. I said that she was my girlfriend, actually, because, you know, it would have been a little weird if I’d said it was a first date. And so, I said, yeah, my girlfriend’s got narcolepsy. I need you to help me put her in the car and take her… You know, I’ll take her home and put her to bed. ‘Cause at the time, I was like, well, what the hell!? I can’t just stay in this restaurant? What the hell am I going to do? I guess, I have to take it back to my house and put her on the couch or something, and just wait for her to wake up before I go out to this gig.

So, I remember picking her up, the guy, one of the waiters working at the restaurant opens the door to the restaurant, (he) lets me out. He comes to my… the car that I had all the time, and opens the door, and the whole time, while I’m carrying this unconscious woman through the street, the whole time I remember just thinking, Please, God, don’t wake up! Please, God, do not wake up and, you know, start screaming. What are you doing? Where are you taking me? Any of that. It was just such an awkward situation.

So, I end up putting her in the car, putting the seatbelt on her, driving back to mine, which was only about five minutes up the road. I had to pull her out of the car, climb up these stairs, as it was… we… my house was on the second floor. So, I had to climb up there. And then, I put on the couch. And at the moment I put her down on the couch she woke up. And I was like, oh God here we go. But, strangely enough, the first thing that she said was just, do you have some chocolate? That was… I shit you not. That was the first concern of hers after waking up and being in a stranger’s house, do you have any chocolate?

So, that was definitely the strangest date that I have ever had. I’ve never had anything surpass that. That has been the… definitely the weirdest date I ever went on. And needless to say, you know, I took care of her, got home that night, but we didn’t catch up again, unfortunately.

But yeah. Far out. It was definitely an incredibly interesting event. Something that I’ll never forget, I don’t think, until the day I die.

So, all you people out there with narcolepsy, I feel for you. I feel for you. Especially, in the dating world. It’s not easy.

So, I hope you enjoy this Story Time Walking With Pete episode, guys. I’ll try and do some more in the future. Let me know what you think and I’ll chat to you soon. Peace out.


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