Pete’s driving through the Outback trying to get to Uluru in time to check it out before sunset.
He pulls his car over to the side of the road, steps out, and opens up his road map on the bonnet to try and work out where to go.
A stranger heading the other way pulls over, rolls his window down, and asks if Pete needs directions.
Stranger: Hey, mate. Need some help with directions?
Pete: Yeah, I’d say so. Bloody hell! I haven’t got the foggiest idea where I am.
Stranger: You’re about 50 clicks due north of Alice Springs. Where are you trying to get to?
Pete: Ah, bugger! I’m trying to get to Uluru before dark. I take it I’m going the complete opposite direction… I should be going south, right?
Stranger: Yeah, that’s it. What you’ll need to do is chuck a U-ey here, drive back through Alice Springs, and then follow the Stuart Highway for about 240 clicks.
Pete: Righto. So, through Alice Springs, south along the Stuart Highway for 240 clicks, then what?
Stranger: You’ll eventually get to the Erldunda Roadhouse, right? And when you hit that make a righthand turn onto Lasseter Highway. You can’t miss it.
Pete: Okay. So, when I reach the Erldunda Roadhouse, turn right on to Lasseter Highway, right?
Stranger: Yeah, that’s it. Then just follow the Lasseter for another 200 clicks or so, and you’ll end up smack bang in front of the rock.
Peter: Alright. Stuart Highway south for 240 clicks, turn right at Erldunda Roadhouse, drive another 200 clicks and arrive. And how will I know when I’m there?
Stranger: I think you’re going to know when you see it. You know, it’s a pretty big rock. You can see it from about 50 clicks away. Once you spot it, keep going towards it. That easy.
Pete: No shit Sherlock. It’s huge.
Stranger: Yep. But you might want to get a wriggle on.
Pete: Why’s that?
Stranger: From here, the drive’s a good 6 hours. So, it’s just after lunchtime now, so if you want to make it before sunset, you better get moving, mate.
Pete: You’re right! Damn. Okay, thanks for the directions, mate. I really appreciate it. I’ll see you later!
Stranger: No worries, mate. Good luck! Too-da-loo!