Australia Needs Your Toilet Paper...

This is happening right now in Australia... Send your thoughts and toilet paper!

Transcript of Australia's TP Apocalypse

It spread around the globe with astonishing speed. At first, we thought it was just like any other flu virus, but we were wrong.

Thousands, then millions of people contracted Covid-19 as it spread across the world.

Panic ensued.

Transport system shut down. People started staying home and stopped going to work. Cities became ghost towns. And then the prepping started.

Supermarkets had their shelves pillaged for any goods people could get their hands on. Supplies of canned beans and hand sanitiser soon dwindled, but the stock of toilet paper was the first to run dry.

Toilet paper. Why toilet paper?

Further panic followed.

People were running through the streets with as much bog roll as they could carry in their arms. Some filled up their ute trays and tore down the street with poop eraser falling off the back, whilst others braved the streets with trolleys overflowing with their buttocks-cleaning treasure.

Most never even made it home. They'd make it a few blocks before they were overrun by crowds of shit ticket thieves hoping to quench their thirst. The masses were like schools of piranha ravaging a carcass of all its flesh, each member trying to get their fair share. And soon every last sheet of paper was gone.

The world was entering a new age.

I still didn't understand what the fuck is going on? Why do people want toilet paper?

And then, the rumours started to spread. The reason why became clear.

Hand sanitiser stopped the virus spreading. Canned beans were a source of food. But moon squares, bun wad, loo pad, toilet paper… it was the cure. At least, that's what they believed.