Day 29 – The Great Emu War

Transcript of Day 29 – The Great Emu War

Day 29 – The Great Emu War

In the summer of 1932, Western Australia found itself embroiled in a peculiar conflict that would later be known as the Great Emu War. The farmers were up in arms(1) as the emu population, attracted by the abundance of crops, wreaked havoc(2) across the land. Major Meredith was assigned to leading a group of soldiers to deal with pesky the emus once and for all(3).

"We need to get our ducks in a row(4)," Major Meredith announced as he briefed his men, giving them the down low(5) on the situation. "These emus are not your average birds(6). They're smart as a fox(7), fast as lightning(8), and stubborn as a mule(9). So, keep your wits about you(10) and let’s give ‘em hell(11)!"

The soldiers set out, armed with machine guns on the back of army trucks, ready to go for broke(12) when they first crossed paths with(13) the enemy. However, the emus weren’t going to be a pushover(14). They proved to be far more elusive and resilient than expected.

The soldiers’ strategy was to drive after large groups of emus and just unleash a rain of bullets(15) in the hopes of taking out(16) as many of them as possible. However, the emus were having none of it(17). They were far too fast and evasive. It was like herding cats(18) or chasing rainbows(19).

At the end of the first day, the trucks had run dry(20) of petrol and the machine guns were all fresh out of(21) bullets. And how many dead emus do you think the army had to show for themselves(22)? Bugger all(23)…

Private Smith grumbled, "We might as well throw in the towel(24). We’re spinning our wheels(25) whilst pissing away(26) time and resources.” His agitation grew, “I don’t have a clue(27) who came up with this bright idea(28), but it’s a train wreck(29).”

"Don't be such a Debby downer(30)," Sergeant Jones retorted. "We’ll get a handle on the situation(31). Just keep your chin up(32), okay?"

In the days that followed, the emus continued to outsmart the soldiers, showing they were no easy prey(33), despite the soldiers’ best efforts.

"It's like shooting blanks(34). Every shot just misses its mark(35) and falls flat(36)" one soldier remarked. "The bloody birds just appear out of nowhere(37), and then just disappear into thin air(38), just like that(39)."

After weeks of futile attempts, Major Meredith called for a meeting to clear the air(40) with his men. He didn’t have to ask about the morale of the troops. He could read the room(41) and saw defeat etched in everyone’s faces.

"What are we getting wrong(42)? Where are the wheels coming off(43) and how can we finally send all these birds to the grave(44)?" he asked.

"We have to change strategy or give up, sir," Sergeant Jones replied. "These emus are giving us a real run for our money(45) and we’re just going around in circles(46) chasing our tails."

"Indeed," Major Meredith sighed. "But we can’t wave the white flag(47), admit defeat(48), and run home with our tails between our legs(49), can we?”

“No, sir!” everyone replied in unison.

Major Meredith continued, "I've been told by the higher-ups that we have one more day to achieve our objective. If we fail and come up short(50) tomorrow, it's game over(51) and time to go home."

He glanced around the room, his expression serious. "So, let’s put our heads together(52) and come up with a plan(53) for how to put an end to these birds(54) for good(55)!" he urged, determination clear in his voice.

After several hours of discussions, they finally hatched a plan(56). Tomorrow before dawn, several soldiers would sneak out into the fields and place baits of fruit and seeds down for the emus to eat. They would then drive all of their trucks towards the birds in a great wall and go in guns blazing(57) firing all the remaining ammo at the birds. They were throwing everything at it(58). It was do or die(59).

At dawn, the trap had been set and everyone was in place just waiting for the order to charge. As the sun slowly rose, the emus appeared around the bait traps. Major Meredith let out the command, “Charge!”

But once again, the emus proved too smart for the soldiers. As the soldiers started firing their machine guns, all hell broke loose(60). The emus immediately made a break for it(61) in all directions. They wildly jumped over trucks and ran around like chooks with their heads chopped off(62).

Seeing it was too dangerous to keep firing the machine guns, Major Meredith yelled out “Cease fire(63)! Cease fire!”.

When the dust settled, the emus had once again slipped through their fingers(64). Major Meredith looked at his men and said, "I think we’ve been defeated, men. It’s time to lick our wounds(65) and return