Welcome to this episode of Aussie English, guys! I think this is going to be one of the first private, special, ultra awesome episodes that will just be available for subscribers on the website, so Kelly, welcome along.
Thank you. Thanks for having me!
It's good to have you here again.
What is the goss? How have you been, Kelly? How's your day been? My arm hurts! Kel, my arm hurts!
Mine too, we got vaccinated today.
And how was that? Was that good? Was it good fun? How was it?
It was fine. I honestly didn't feel any thing. It was so quick! And now I feel like my arm's really... it's quite sore. It's not uncomfortable, but it's a bit sore. I was like oh, have you? You already did it? And she was like " yeah, you're ok, you can go" I'm like ok...
They must use such fine needles. Because they don't really have to inject very much. So, I think they can kind of use a really fine needle, so you barely feel it. I didn't feel that at all, really, I mean I felt when it was injected, but I didn't feel the needle go in. And I was like oh, ok..
It's funny that they keep talking to you like looking directly into your eyes.
Well, I think they're trying to distract the crap out of you, right? There are like how are you going? When are you due? like they were talking to you. You're pregnant, when are you due? When is the baby due? How's it going? Can you put your initials here? What's your name? How have you been? And you're just like woah woah woah, Jesus! I can't answer all these questions.
It was fine, it was this boy, like I think, I mean, I'm guessing, but he was like 12, 13 was struggling a little bit too.
That was pretty crazy because we noticed... so what happened? Start from the start. Today we... in Australia you can get these injections for free if, I don't know if it's if you are pregnant or not, I'm not sure if people who don't have a baby on the way can just walk into these medical places to get these, but I know that you and I could because you're pregnant currently so, we have to get the whooping cough pertussis vaccine and that is... there's two other ones, right? There is tetanus and I missed the other one, I forgot what it was, but there's three different things that you're being vaccinated for in that one we got.
Woah! I thought it was just one.
No, there is tetanus as well and Whooping cough pertussis and there's another one that I've forgotten, but yeah so we organised, that you look that up online and there are all these places around Geelong locally where we can go and you just they're open for four hours or something and they'll jab anyone that walks in.
Some of them you have to book, to have, you know, private sort of...you get, you come in and you get vaccinated, but then because our schedule is a bit like... we never know, sometimes you have lessons or we're doing other things. We decided to go to this one because we didn't have to book.
You could just walk in.
Show up.
That was it. So, we walked in, took a number, sat down.
Lots of kids.
Lots of kids running around, we had to wait for the lady to call out the number and then she sort of booked us in. We worked out which vaccine we were having. I think she asked us about allergies, Medicare numbers, birthdays, phone numbers and addresses. And then after that we got to go and wait in the in the waiting room again, was good fun, there was lots of kids, though, lots of babies, lots of recent mothers.
With newborns and three-month-old babies.
I was impressed, though, because all of the little kids seem to take it like a boss. They got jabbed and then straight away were just like... yeah, all good.
Well they get a lollipop, to be fair.
Yeah they get candy, lollies.
But there was one boy there who was freaking out a bit and it sounds like, from the conversations that we overheard him having with his mum, his mum seemed pretty, pretty over it, pretty irritated.
Yeah, she was a bit irritated, but from what I could hear they went there yesterday or something like that and he couldn't do it and then she went back today for him to try again and they had tried twice and he was quite anxious and you could see he was uncomfortable and anxious. He wasn't crying when you think he was like, you know, feeling sick, I guess.
It must be so hard too, because if you've got a kid who doesn't want to get injected if you were just force him, you're probably going to traumatize him. You are going to hold him down, it's almost like you do have to kind of get them to consent. I mean, obviously consent to it, but also want to do it, feel comfortable or else the next time they're going to come in they're going to be like yeah there's no way I'm getting vaccinated. You know, that's... you need to sort of nip it in the bud, right? And get these people comfortable with it. Even though I absolutely hate vaccines, I've never not done it. I remember every time like for those of you who have kids here going to school, we... I think in certain grades or years in primary school and in high school you have to get jabbed for different things like hepatitis B, measles, I remember having...there are whole bunch of these different injections you have to get at different ages. I remember we used to have to always line up outside a certain location on the day that the nurses would come to the school for our entire year level. And so, you know, a hundred plus students had to line up and you're waiting in line for ages and then you'd get jabbed really quick and be off and on with your day, but that was when, you know, we are going to get onto this, that was when I first realized that I'm a bit of a pussy.
No, don't say that.
Well, it's true, I'm a bit of a wuss when it comes to needles. I freak myself out psychologically, I think. So we were talking about that.
Now I was just going to say before that it's important that I think the parents talk to, in this case, like, this boy. So, imagine when it's only up to him. He's an adult and he has to go by himself to get vaccinated or whatever it is, if he's traumatized he'll be like "no way am doing that". So, that's when I think it gets a bit dangerous if he is traumatized or he doesn't overcome, it will be like a big problem for him in the future, but it's everyone has a fear of something like you just feel weird about needles. I have crabs and insects and things like, yeah, it depends.
But it is weird, because for me it's not the pain that really freaks me out. It's the psychological thinking about it, ruminating on it, freaking out about the fact that someone is injecting a liquid into your body or taking a liquid out your body. So, it's not the pain, the pain doesn't bother me, you know, I'm not scared of pain and even, I remember talking to you about my ear. So, I have cauliflower ear, which is where you get sort of a deformed ear from wrestling, boxing, jujitsu because of repeated I guess impacts. So, your ear gets rubbed, it gets beaten, it gets hit. And as a result of bruises and the bruise for some reason in the ear becomes calcified. So, it gets hard and it changes the shape of that ear. So, I had that on one side of my head for probably after the first year of doing jujitsu it really built up. And the problem is once you get a bruise there because you're doing jujitsu, you know, every day, every second day, it doesn't get a chance to really heal so it's there because it gets aggravated the next day, it gets aggravated after that. So, even if it calms down and it gets bruised again while it's trying to heal.
Is it because of like impact?
Yeah. So, what would happen is you'd be in a headlock and someone's legs or arms would effectively be crushing your ear or rubbing your ear or pushing it or so, effectively you just have a lot of contact, right? So, boxers get it because they're getting punched in the air, but for jujitsu it's more that it's getting pressure put on and then it's moving, it's getting rubbed and so, you get like a bruise, a haematoma in the ear. And so the weird thing was, the point of this story was that, for a month, when I had that happening to my...I can't remember which ear it is... my right ear. I had to use, I had to go to the pharmacy, to the chemist and get I had to ask for a bunch of insulin needles and it was really funny because I felt like such a heroin addict or something because they were like why do you want those? And I was like... I had to show them my ear and be like I have to pull the liquid out of my ear because this really hurts. It's really painful and I can't sleep, I can't put pressure on this year, I can't do jujitsu so, I need a needle. Can you please just sell me them, they're like 50 cents. They don't really care, but they were always like why do I want a bag of them?
Definitely, they need to ask.
And the good thing was because I was working at the museum I had access to alcohol and things that would clean the needles and my ear so, I could go home, sit in the mirror and inject myself with the needle and pull the blood and everything out of my ear, effectively inject, putting the needle into a space in my ear where there was a lot of liquid because it blows up like a golf ball in size if it gets really bad and so you have to relieve the pressure or it just really hurts. And so I had to do it I had to do that every night for a month and the weird thing was that that didn't bother me. That was like...because it was relieving the pressure.
Maybe because you were in control of it.
And I had to concentrate on it, I had to sit there in the mirror, make sure that I put the needle just under the skin and then could pull the blood out of my ear, but it was really funny because yeah I remember before that always thinking there is no way I could do this and then because I knew that needles kind of freak me out, made me want to pass out and yet, when the pain got to a point where it was so bad.
You had to do it.
That I was just like I can't sleep, I need to sort this out and I'm not going to the doctor every day for a month, to the emergency room to get this done when I can do it myself and there are tutorials on YouTube and.
So is it a common thing like fighters do that?
Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. I think I've done it to many people as well.
Oh, Have you?
Yeah, yeah. Once you're in the jujitsu gym and people find out that you've had a cauliflower ear, you dealt with it, a lot of them don't want to do it themselves. So, again I can do it for other people. Richard, the guy I was living with, I did do it for him quite a few times. So, you get pretty used to it, but you just have to be very clean and use alcohol, ,swab it before and after dispose of the needles safely, everything like that.
I don't think I could do it, I mean, I don't know, but if I was in pain like you're saying you were, maybe. But yeah, I don't know, I'm afraid of other things. Needles don't really freak me out, to be honest.
Yeah, that's the funny thing, right? And that was funny because the kid that was sitting in the waiting room after we came out, I think as soon as I sat down and I was like ok, I can feel my blood pressure's dropped a little bit, I'm not really feeling great, so I'm just going to lie down, everyone's going to look at me like what the hell is this kid doing? I was like whatever, I can't be screwed fainting, I'm too old to care about what other people think. And it was funny because the mum was like saying to the kid ''look, he's going to faint. See, like he feels bad as well!''.
And I turned around I'm like ''yeah I'm a total pussy. Don't worry about it, I hate it as well!".
But it was good that he at least got to see, you know, he's an adult and he's struggling with the same thing I'm struggling with. So, I don't know, I think there's a lot of oh you should be embarrassed about it or you know it's just like... everyone is afraid of something.
That's why I keep trying to get you to face your fears with insects, spiders, moths and I sort of came to the realisation of how important it is to face your fears when I started listening to Jordan Peterson, that clinical psychologist talking about how people don't become less afraid of things that they have a phobia of or are afraid of, they become braver and so they can still face those, they can face those fear more readily, those fears more readily, but they're still just as afraid as in the beginning and that's the thing, you have to just be like oh even if I'm afraid of this thing I can still do it. I just have to manage the fear, right? And so, that's what you've been doing with spiders and cockroaches and months.
Been killing quite a bunch of them, quite a few of them. Especially if they are in the baby's room.
Tell that story.
I was just going, I think I was going to get a towel or something and this massive, for me it was massive, this massive spider just jumped like it was on the towel.
Yeah It was in the closet, right? and it was on some clothes.
I just pulled i,t it was like straight, almost on me, like it just went on the ground and I was like what should I do? Should I the... I thought about getting the spray, but then I don't want it spray in the room. So I just killed it with the same towel, like boom!
She picked up the towel and just smacked it to death.
You're not going to kill my baby! It's funny, like I don't know... I've noticed there has been like quite a few situations where I'm like I probably wouldn't do it, but then if I think I was going to hurt my baby it is so powerful. I don't ever think about it, I just like whatever it is, I'll kill it.
Well, I've been thinking about that today with the injections. Because I'm like, I really don't want to do this. I really don't to do this, but then I keep remind myself it's not for me, it's for someone else and I imagine ok, imagine that their life depends on you getting this injection and vaccinating yourself so that you don't transmit this disease to the baby. Imagine if you did do that, would you ever be able to live down not getting vaccinated because you feel uncomfortable for an hour? And I'd just like once you look at it in that way you kind of manage it and you're like ok, screw my feelings, screw my fears, like a worst case scenario, I lie down, I faint, I wake up and it's all good, you know?
I think you're doing really well like I'm much more reluctant to face my fears like with insects and spiders and things, you see how I get quite like oh don't want to do it, oh my God, I freak out and finally I'm like okay I'll do it, but then you decide I'll do it, I'll get vaccinated today and you just do it.
Well, the worst part for me was just waiting for an hour beforehand because I'm like thinking about it, I'm watching other people get vaccinated. I would much prefer that I just walked in and they literally were just like Pete! Sit down, Bang!
Like the other day, right?
That's it I had my blood taken the other day and that was amazing because the doctor told me I had to do it, instantly I freaked, freaked out. I was like oh God and she's like did you want to do it now? And I'm like hell yes because if no, I'm just going to avoid it. We walked across the thing, as soon as I walked in to pick up a number they were like Peter? They already knew I was coming. And then laid me down and took it, I was like my gosh, that was the best case scenario because I didn't have to sort of, you know, worry about it or think about it.
I was just thinking with this mindset of you have to face your fears and stuff. I don't think anyone likes it, but I really hate speak in a public, like presenting whatever work is at school or universally, I hate it, but then it's surprising that usually, I wouldn't had the best one, but I usually do pretty well, although I hate it when I have to present a research or like a report at school, I'm like even if what I'm saying is completely rubbish my teachers usually say oh you speak really well, you're presenting yourself really well
Fake it till you make it.
Exactly. Because I'm like... I'm not going to let them know that I'm freaking out. I'm like... and people just, you know, when you're nervous like you start laughing and you gesticulate it quite a lot and you're like... you can see when someone is nervous.
Do you think it's preparation, though, too? Do you think that you really overdo the preparation so that you don't feel nervous on the day? Because that was something I did, when I was at university and I had to give presentations for my all throughout my bachelors, masters and doctorate, I had to do that all the time and again like vaccines, like giving blood, I freakin hated it.
Yeah, no one likes it.
N.A.S.A. I like it but quite often I would just practice it like crazy at home and it would make me a lot more comfortable on that day.
To be honest I like to improvise.
But you can practice improvision, right?
Yeah, like I do practice before doing it, but I don't... I try not to get to like oh I have to say is exactly like it's on the paper because that's when I get nervous like what if I forget? So, I prefer like I will understand what I'm talking about and then I'll, you know, get there and say the exact same thing the way I understand it, if it makes sense.
That's the best way that I think you can sort of prepare, right? I remember when I was at university people would often prepare for presentations and they would read word for word of a slide it that they were holding in their hand or they would fill too much text into the PowerPoint slides and you would just be like that would make me even more nervous because if I miss a word, I'm going to freak out and think I have to start again or I screwed up, or they're going to know I screwed up. And, as you were saying, I used to try and practice just improvising and really getting better at explaining myself, but not necessarily having to say the same thing every single time.
I don't, I usually don't have like a paper from like that I'm reading from like I'm just there and I breathe and I say whatever I have to say and it usually goes... Sometimes I mess up, sometimes it's horrible like a few weeks ago I had a presentation, I have a presentation every three weeks at school, so I was like I wasn't really good, but you know, I never know, it's just like I will do what I know that works and it works for me. So, yeah it's one of those and I hate doing that. But then if I have to do it I'm not going to let people know like I just pull the most professional person that is within myself and do it because I hate when like everyone knows you're nervous, but then you start like laughing and showing anxiety and things and it destroys the whole thing.
That's practice though, right. I think you have to be able to just get used to not deflecting in that sort of way, you know, when you get there you just slow down, breathe, repeat what you're saying or trying to start the sentence again. Don't overthink it, because yeah, if you start laughing and doing other things it's just like oh, everyone now can see....
And I think it comes from because I'm a journalist and there were so many situations like I was absolutely uncomfortable, feeling scared like I had to do this interview with a politician or whatever and I'm a small person. Like, I've always been quite skinny and it is some sort of body language like that comes. I'm not I don't have some like really strong presence, I would say, I'm not tall so, I had to you know, just make myself noticed in a different way so I had to be like the most professional one, or just be the more serious one. So, for me it was always like ok you have an interview today. Alright, so I can't really you know be the loudest one in the room or like the most...I don't know just like with the sort of presence that people notice you, but then they would be really professional and serious and that really helped. So, I don't know, if it makes sense. It's just like one of those things I think it helps me to face my fear of speaking in public.
I think it trains you too, right? If you're good at improvisation whether it's for presentations or not it's really going to help you in conversations because it means that you get better and better at finding different ways of saying the same thing or different ways of expressing yourself. So, I'm constantly having to try and work on that in Portuguese and although, especially with you and with our Portuguese speaking friends, quite often I have the ability to go back to English if I get stuck and I have to constantly try to avoid doing that. And so late today remember we're in the car and I couldn't think of the word I wanted to say for dust in the air, because the air was really dusty. There was a lot of dust particles and I was like, I was saying in Portuguese, it's really funny, there's lots of those particles in the air that make the sky look a bit cloudy or whatever and you are like dust and I was like yes that's what I was after, but I didn't want to have to say, you know, how do I say this word dust again in Portuguese.
But that's a trick in English schools they teach you, if you don't know, if you don't remember a word, describe what you want.
So, you know the car thing that has like, you know, four wheels and is bigger than a car, you're like, oh truck! Yeah. I know. So, that's one of those things you just have to keep working on it and it gets better and better and better with time, right?
Yeah, definitely.
Far out. So did you want to talk about prenatal classes too and how you found that experience so far? And how are you feeling about giving birth? Because you're now almost week 30. How's it all coming along there, Kelly? What's the latest news and how have the prenatal classes been for anyone listening who is potentially going to have to do those in Australia.
So, I think there were like 6 or 5 lessons, we missed a few of them because I had to go to school and I made the mistake that my prenatal classes are on the same day I have to go to school.
Yeah, yeah. And you had a presentation to get ready for.
Yeah, exactly.
So you couldn't avoid going to that and I wasn't going to go to the prenatal class alone.
So, yeah, it was fine, the ones we could attend were fine. It's just hard to connect with people sometimes, I don't know, it's a bit awkward like...
I felt like being in high school again, on your first day or something or first week where everyone is like do these activities, tell each other your name, you know, get to know people.
And you have a name tag and things.
But, yeah, it's really nice, the last one, was it yesterday, right?
We had it last night at seven o'clock till 9h30.
It was really nice, it was about breastfeeding and...
Lots of videos.
Lots of videos, but with regards to giving birth, I'm fine. I'm not scared anymore.
Do you want to describe that? Because you were freaking out a bit earlier on, right? but now you're a lot more at ease with the idea of pushing something the size of a watermelon out of your vagina.
That's a great way to describe it.
How have you changed your, I don't know, the way you view this and how have you become so much more at ease with the idea of giving birth?
I think because I'm the kind of person who wants to be in control of things especially, like I always saying, if I have a presentation, I want to study enough so I know what I'm talking about. So, it's the same with, I mean, haven't really, I have never experienced giving birth, that's going to be my first time.
You won't be able to say that in three months.
Yeah. Because I want to be in control of it. I want to know ok I know what's happening with my body. I'm studying like crazy, I'm reading about everything that can go wrong, things are fine and you think oh my God, I'm dying. No, you're not. But I think education is a big thing like just get information and read about it and that's what I'm doing, it's really helping, but...
One of the best ways that we've done that it's been watching a lot of these docos or TV series on YouTube, right?
There's a series from the U.K. called One Born Every Minute about childbirth at a maternity ward in the hospital where they film like a what would you call it like I guess it's a reality TV show and you get to watch people give birth and you get to hear their story, where they met, how many children they've got, the process they've gone through, you get to see the birth and then afterwards you get to sort of talk to them.
And then if you study enough you can start to criticise the reality show, because you're like, why are those women in the bed? Stand up!
Everyone gets on the bed, yeah, stand up to give birth, use gravity, use gravity! But that was really funny because we've been watching those like crazy, like we've seen dozens of those episodes now.
All of them.
I don't know about that, there is quite a few seasons, but we watch tons and then we went to the prenatal classes and I was surprised when I asked everyone " have you guys been watching One Born Every Minute?" and they were like What's that? And the guys know close to nothing about childbirth. I was really surprised too because of how much you've made me kind of get into the process of learning and watching these things. Now I know quite a bit, but the men there seem to be really sort of like I don't talk about it, I don't look into it. It's her problem.
Yeah, it's funny I don't know. It would be weird for me if you were not interested. I mean, I wouldn't say interested but into the same sort of okay that's what's going to happen with you and like how can you support me if I don't you know what's happening?
Well that's it. How can I be useful if I have no idea of what you are experiencing or going through? And the same with the baby. I can't imagine not... I mean back in the day it must have been a bit more like that where women had the job of taking care of the baby and taking care of the house and whether or not you even wanted to be a father who had something to do with nappy changing and everything you're probably encouraged to just get out, no you're not doing this.
It wasn't your role.
So, I can't imagine. Like, today, though having that same situation because I know so much now about nappy changing and about birth and the whole process.
It would be really awkward to be like oh I'm just not doing that. That doesn't make any sense. I can't imagine you'd ever turn to me and be like "ah no".
Well, I guess that's a Western culture that's sort of occurred more recently because I don't know, I don't know if it was my parents' generation or my grandparents generation but I think definitely my grandparents my grandfather wasn't allowed to be there.
Yeah your mum was saying that.
He wasn't allowed to be in the room and so they even had those laws or rules back then where it was like yeah you're not in here, get out. And today, though, I can't imagine not being there. So, that's one of those things for us in Western societies or at least Australian society that the husband is, it's almost weird if he's not. You'd be like well, where's the guy?
Where is your husband?
What happened? Did you guys, you know, did your relationship break down or something?
So, yeah I'm feeling calm about it to be honest and I'm not excited like "oh my God, I can't wait". I'm just, you know, it will come when it comes and it's fine, but I really trust my body, like I know I can do it and I know I have the strength to do it. I just need to put my mind in a really good place when it starts because for me the challenge is emotional and like mental illness. Because I struggle with anxiety as well as you know so it is hard for me, if I lose control when I'm in pain, it would be really hard for me to get everything like in the right place again, like just to be calm and determined again. So, I have to start really from a really good place just like ok, it's starting...
It's really funny today though isn't it because everything is so easy for people. If you want to go to the dentist, you can get anaesthesia, if you want to you tooth pulled, you not going to feel anything. If you want to have a baby, you can get an epidural, you're not going to feel anything. If you go to the hospital and you need an operation, you get a local or general anesthetic, you're going to feel anything. And it's been funny in the last two or three days I've been watching these documentaries on modern medicine and how it developed through the years. Most of it occurred during war time, which I was funny enough, because they had access to so many injured people, but the second thing which is how recent a lot of these things at least with numbing pain was developed, were developed. So, you know, over maybe 120 years ago there was no anesthetic, there was no way of numbing the pain and so going through anything like childbirth or operations to extractions you just had to suck it up and deal with it. Do you think that people have become pussyfied? Do you think they've become wusses? Where it's too easy to avoid the pain so, we don't have to develop that kind of a grit and acceptance that life hurts in times like that.
I think, you know, if medicine is developed enough for you to give birth and not feel pain, go for it. Like, if you know yourself enough and you'll be like I can't deal with it and you want to have a positive experience as well yeah. So, how do you want to remember giving birth to your child? Just like oh it was the most horrible, painful, thing I've ever done...
It has to be a tradeoff though right. I don't you. For you I know you so badly want to give birth naturally. And at the same time you are worried that the pain is going to get to a point where you can't give birth, well, you give birth naturally, but you'll have some kind of assistance to avoid the pain like an epidural. But you've got to work out where that balance is. You can only sort of do that when you first go in there whilst you're in labor, but I know that you kind of are hoping that you can endure the pain, right?
I hope so. But the thing is it doesn't... it is just hard because there's so much pressure from when you say oh I want an epidural, I don't want an epidural, it's like you're not going to be less of a mom if you get an epidural. I'm not going to wear like a badge or get a prize because I didn't have one. It is a personal thing for me to be like I did this and I have my personal reasons for that. But then at the same time it's not like you didn't try enough or you couldn't handle it.
Why do you think there is that pressure though from, I think it must be from other women.
Yeah, definitely. Absolutely.
Do you what do you think it is just like with anything it's "I've done something that is even more difficult than you and so I want to feel better by making you feel worse".
I've done something you know that is hard to do and I did it so somehow I feel you know that I'm better than you. And it's also like because, as you said, there are so many ways to avoid it like medicine is so developed and you can get an epidural if you want.
That was my initial point was more that there is the complete availability of avoidance so, that you can completely, you don't even have to feel like, you know, apart from the initial contractions, ultimately, you can effectively avoid all of that. And so that's why I guess I'm more worried because you kind of want, you want to encourage people to still have to kind of face and endure hardship and difficulties that they can then overcome and become stronger people as a result. And so, I was wondering if you thought that society sort of making life too easy for people is a good thing or a bad thing. Like with children who get to spoil, right? and they never have to work really, really hard to get something. If your parents buy everything for you, you're not going to evolve more as a person, right? And appreciate what you end up having so I can imagine too with women who do give birth with absolutely nothing. I can imagine there must be an amazing feeling of just I'm a badass!
Yes, it is really empowering! That's what I'm talking about.
This is I'm in nature.
Absolutely! That's is so... It is nature, literally. It's like nature doing what it's supposed to do. And for me that's a lot of like a like a person or some sort of personal goal that I want do it, but at the same time I had to work a lot with myself just be like if in this area it's okay.
Well, you've got to remember too, it can be nature and you die.
Yes, yes.
Nature wasn't free of complications.
That's what I'm saying, like sometimes, I did that. I got really into those things and I was like there's no way I'm getting an epidural and I'll be the best and then I'm like why am I doing this? Who is it for? You know what I mean?
You've got to keep the baby in mind too, right? You could say oh, ok, I'm not going to do all these things, but it puts the baby in more danger.
Because I'm stubborn.
And so there's a balance between what what's best for the baby and what's best for you and you're only going to know on the day, I think.
So, there are things that I can say I'm not doing that. So, I'm know having an elective, an elective caesarean. I'll try to get into labor and deliver my baby naturally, but who knows? It's just one of those things, anything can happen and you just need to wait, but I am much more calm about it and I think it'll be positive, it will be good.
Yeah, I think it's going to be a bit of a wake up call when we actually bring the baby home. I remember my sister telling me when she finally got her daughter and gave birth to her daughter, got the daughter and left the hospital she was like what? We can't leave with another human being?
How did they let us leave with this baby?
And so, I can't imagine that feeling I think is going to be mind blowing when all of a sudden we're carrying a baby home and it's kind of like this is 100 percent your responsibility. There is no one who is coming to help you. You know? Aside from maybe the, what was it? The lactation specialist who will help you with breastfeeding.
There is a midwife that comes every week, I think, for the first month or something like that, but yeah you have some assistance, but at the end of the day, it's your responsibility.
The thing, I think, that blew my mind most of the most recent video that we watched at the prenatal class was just how long it takes for babies to work out how to breastfeed and also how they do it all by themselves, ultimately. So, they know where to move their bodies. They can smell the breast milk, they can find the nipple.
Then the rest meanwhile because they are exhausted.
They get tired from moving around on your body and then eventually they find the nipple they start leaking, it moving their mouths, trying to work out how to get suction and it takes like an hour or more for them to actually work out how to latch on and properly breastfeed. I had no idea that it took that long, I thought you just popped the baby out, give birth and then bam! It's on the breast and you breastfeed it.
It's a new thing. We say babies know what to do, but at the same time they are learning. So, it is not 100 percent like you're not going to get the best latch. So, that's when the baby that attaches to the breast.
The nipple.
But it is complicated. I'm reading about breastfeeding, but I'm trying not to get too worried about it because...
It's funny how many women have told me that that's one of the hardest things they've ever had to do and they kept telling me that and I didn't really appreciate that until last night when you just see, I mean, hard is probably not the right way I would explain it, but I think you have to have a lot of patience, right? It's not something that you just do. You have to give the baby time to learn and you can't force it to do it, it has to do it itself.
You have to learn how to do it, like you know, how to position your baby and you imagine how terrifying it must be, you have a newborn and you can't feed the baby and you don't want to give something, because you know your milk is the best thing you can give to the baby. So, you're like I know you're hungry. Are you're in pain or whatever. I just, I can't, I can't do anything. It must be terrifying. I don't know. I hope everything goes fine, but...
I'm sure we'll smash it out. Everything will be good and we'll have no sleep for another three months.
Well, you mean six years because that's the average. After having babies, couples usually, the first six years are hell.
We'll find out. It's going to be longer than that if we had more than one kid, right?
Probably. Probably for the rest of our lives.
Anyway, anything else you want to cover or should we finish up there for the day.
I think we covered everything. Is there anything else you wanted to...?
That was the main stuff, babies and vaccines.
Babies and vaccines.
Thanks for joining me, Kelly.
Not a problem, any time.
See you, guys!